Subrina Collier on Being a Black Woman in Hospitality

What I noticed from the time I was 18 and working is that women were never put in fine dining. We were always in the back, cooking or washing dishes and maybe they’d let you serve sometimes. The only exception was when I was working in fast food. I remember I worked at a restaurant called Logan’s and there was one Black manager.

She always had to consult the guys (male managers) when she made decisions, but they didn’t have to consult her. She didn’t have as much power as the men did. 

I was the only Black server on the floor at the Blue Monkey, a casual bar in Memphis, and now I own and manage a restaurant. Sometimes someone will come to The Yolk and be like, ‘“Who’s the owner?’ and I get to tell them it’s me. 

Working in restaurants fit naturally for me.  I’m a server at heart and I like to make people happy. One of my friends calls me a maestro, which I appreciate because it does feel like I’m controlling emotions working as a manager. People come in hangry or might be impatiently waiting for their food and we make them satisfied and happy by the time they leave. And because it’s counter service at Uptown Yolk, you don’t have a long time to make people happy, you only have an hour or so. I like doing that.

People are my favorite part of my job and my least favorite part of my job. We’re trading energies. Good and bad. Dealing with people is not always pleasant, but I get way more good than bad so that’s why I say it’s my favorite part. 

I can’t do it by myself, though. I also like the element of teamwork that comes with working in a restaurant. 

For me, managing a staff means having respect both ways. You know your role and I’m going to compensate you for that and also give you feedback to help make you better. I think being in front of the house and having a serving background has given me a big leg up on managing and owning my own restaurant. There’s a corporate side where I have to make sure everything in the business is going well, like I’ve had to hop on the line and drop pancakes because a cook called out, but I feel at home in the front of the house.

I understand that everyone on my team is human. You know people say, ‘“Leave it at the door,’” and sometimes that’s just not possible. I’m always open to talk. I’m always a good ear and sometimes it’s just knowing that someone hears it and gets it. I feel like a lot of us aren’t allowed to come to work and be human. I don’t believe in that. We’re allowed to be human. 

Honestly what I would tell a Black woman working in the dining room is you’re not where you came from and don’t let them break you down. It’s a game for some people to break you and say, ‘See, she’s aggressive.’ I feel like sometimes we’re raised to be defensive because there’s so much coming at us. You also have to be okay to check yourself. “Did they say I’m aggressive because I’m Black or because I do have an attitude right now?” 

I would also say don’t work anywhere you’re miserable. I know that’s hard for someone who’s waiting tables with two kids at home or working to pay for school. That’s hard and sometimes internally you have to do the work so you can keep the job until you can move on. But don’t let a job make you unhappy. Move on if you can. 

Having the ability to be yourself is big. That code switching shit, I want us to stop doing that. You can still be a professional without code switching and sometimes we pressure one another into code switching. I want people to know they’re empowered to speak facts. Me being myself in a space, Black or white, I can be myself. You are not the representative of Black folks. Just be you. 

You’re not going to see a lot of white people willing to work for a Black woman.  It’s a stigma everywhere but you can see it play out in the culinary scene. I notice it now. There’s more Black women getting recognized in the culinary world and that’s good. I like to do Soul Sistas annually. That’s my time to put Black women in the spotlight and highlight all of the work that they’re doing. Sometimes you have to put yourself on the platform. 

Subrina Collier is co-owner and general manager of Charlotte’s Uptown Yolk, Leah & Louise and a founding member of the Soul Food Sessions dinner series highlighting Black chefs and pushing the definitions of soul food.